Saturday, December 31, 2011

Happy New Year!

It took me two weekends, but I finally got my tree up!





"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams...If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a spaz.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some, it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~Dave Howell

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:

" Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.


Friday, December 30, 2011

Stallion Week 16



Play action, play action, play action!  Pass on the grass, run on the carpet!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Weekly Poop 12/28/11

Roost #44 Poop
·         Dates to Remember:
·        Friday – Water Conservation Group Meeting @
·        Sunday – Penguin Swim to raise money for Atlantic General Hospital.  Support the Ravens Roost #44 Team HERE.
·        Tuesday – Ravens Rap @ the Blue Ox.  Ravens Room open up to customers at 6pm, every show.  Show starts @ 7pm, ending time may vary slightly.
·        Sunday, February 5 – Raven's Roost #44 Annual Jim Martin Super Bowl Party @ The Blue Ox.   Cost: $23 pp.  Time: 5:30 till?  Wings, pork BBQ with mini rolls, crab dip, meatballs, buffalo chicken dip, steamed shrimp, hamburgers/hot dogs with fixings, cheese/veggie tray, cole slaw, potato salad, brownies and lemon jello cake.  Alcohol/beverages included: Miller and Coors light on draft, iced tea, coffee, soda.  All other alcohol will be charged to individual per happy hour prices.  Money due by 1/27/2012.  Give your checks to Larry or Marie Gerst (302-436-1767) made payable to Raven's Roost #44.
·        Saturday, February 18 – Raven’s Roost #44 Post Football Season Dance, 7-11 p.m. benefiting Roost 44’s charities and featuring the band TRANZFUSION!  Ocean City Elks Lodge Hall – 137th Street Bayside.  $25 pp includes beer, chips, cash bar and money wheel.  For tickets contact: Mary Kendall 302-236-9617 or Ron Apperson 302-436-4790
·       

Ravens Poop
·        The Ravens beat the Browns 20-14 to go a perfect 8-0 at home.  As the saying goes, win at home and split on the road and that’s exactly what the Ravens are going to try and accomplish as they go to Cincinnati this Sunday for the season finale.  Beat the Bengals, and the Ravens have a first round bye and at least one home playoff game.  The NFL has moved the game start time to 4:15pm.  If you care, the playoff seedings can go like this:

Postseason Scenarios


Bills at Patriots
Ravens at Bengals
Steelers at Browns
Seeds
Patriots win
Ravens win
Result doesn't matter
1-Patriots, 2-Ravens, 5-Steelers
Patriots win
Bengals win
Browns win
1-Patriots, 2-Ravens, 5-Steelers
Bills win
Ravens win
Result doesn't matter
1-Ravens, 2-Patriots, 5-Steelers
Bills win
Bengals win
Browns win
1-Patriots, 2-Ravens, 5-Steelers
Patriots win
Bengals win
Steelers win
1-Patriots, 2-Steelers, 5-Ravens
Bills win
Bengals win
Steelers win
1-Steelers, 2-Patriots, 5-Ravens


·        Good news notes and nuggets from Sarah Ellison’s Blog here.  It’s getting to the point where I can hardly stand ESPN, but I do go Jamison Hensley’s Blog here to stay up to date with all of the AFC North news.

Local Poop
·        Now thru Sunday – Winterfest of Lights has been named a prestigious Top 100 Event for 2011 by American Bus Association.
Northside Park, 125th Street & The Bay
Sunday - Thursday 5:30 p.m. - 9:30 p.m.
Friday & Saturday 5:30 p.m. -10:30 p.m.
Admission is $5.00 for those 12 years & older, and FREE for those 11 years and younger.
Enjoy this winter paradise created for the whole family!  Take a ride through an animated wonderland on the Winterfest Express.  Board the train and sing Christmas Carols as you glide past spectacular lighted displays including the Twelve Days of Christmas and your favorite fairy tales.  Visit the Winterfest Village which is located inside a festive, heated pavilion decorated for the season.  Buy a cup of hot chocolate at The OC Recreation Boosters cafe, browse the Yukon Cornelius Gift Shop for that special stocking stuffer or OC souvenir.
While in Ocean City, drive along the Avenue of Trees on Baltimore Avenue from 15th – 32nd Street.  Be sure to visit all of Ocean City, Maryland to create a lasting holiday memory.  More than one million holiday lights sparkle throughout the town on animated displays.

Funny Poop
·        Saint Peter had a terrible cold and fever and didn't think he would last the day minding the Pearly Gates of Heaven.  So he phoned Jesus to ask for the day off.

"Why, Peter," Jesus said. "You know your health is my first concern.  Take as much time as you need."

As Jesus pondered who he might use to replace Peter, he decided to handle the job himself.  It was a very slow day and no one approached the Gates until late in the afternoon, when in the distance, Jesus saw a bent, white-haired old man slowly making his way up the path with the aid of a gnarled cane.

As the man neared, Jesus said, "Good afternoon, sir. How may I help you?"

"Well," replied the man, "I was hoping to enter the Gates of Heaven."

"We would certainly love to have you," said Jesus, "but we do have certain rules as to who can enter Heaven.  Tell me, what have you done to deserve such an honor?"

"Actually, I have done nothing so wonderful myself," said the man. "I lived in a small town and led a simple life as a carpenter. But my son," he continued, "now HE was special!"

With pride in his voice he said, "I raised him to be a carpenter like myself and did my best to teach him right from wrong.  And when he grew older, an amazing transformation overcame him and to this day he's known throughout the world and loved by all alike."

As Jesus listened to the story, a sense of recognition came to him.  With a lump in his throat and a tear in his eye, he threw open his arms and cried, "Father!"

Emotional at this outburst, the old man threw open his arms and yelled, "Pinocchio!!"
·        A woman walks into a tattoo parlor.  "Do you do custom work?" she asks the artist.

"Why of course!"

"Good. I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of my left thigh."

'No problem,' says the artist. 'Strip from the waist down and get upon the table.'

After two hours of hard work, the artist finishes.  The woman sits up and examines the tattoos.  "That doesn't look like them!" she complains loudly.

"Oh yes it does," the artist says indignantly, “and I can prove it."  With that, he runs out of the shop and grabs the first man off the street he can find; it happens to be the town drunk.

"Well, what do you think?" the woman asks, spreading her legs.  "Do you know who these men are?"

The drunk studies the tattoos for a couple of minutes and says. "I'm not sure who the guys on either side are, but the fellow in the middle is definitely Willie Nelson!"

Etcetera
·         Got poop?  Let me know!  I’m going to try to get this out every Wednesday so if you get it to me by Tuesday I’ll try to include it.  Your input is appreciated.
·         Be sure to visit our website @ www.ravensroost44.com or our blog @ http://ravensroost44.blogspot.com/ for the latest news, notes and nuggets.
·         Life is short.  Focus on the good.
·         Have a safe and prosperous New Year!



Frank

Baltimore Ravens, let’s go
And put that ball across the line
So fly with talons spread wide
Go in and strike with Ravens pride
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Ravens dark wings take flight
Dive in and show them your might
For Baltimore and Maryland
You will fly on to victory


Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Ravens Roost #44 2011 Members of the Year


Gary Miller, President of Ocean City Ravens Roost #44, presented Bob and Mary Kendall the Member of the Year award at the Roost annual Christmas Party, December 17. The Kendalls were nominated by Roost #44 member, Sandy Taras, for their continuous money raising efforts throughout the year for the Roost annual scholarship awards which are presented to local high school seniors in June. Always traveling at their own expense to where Ravens players are scheduled to meet the public, they have obtained authentic autographed memorabilia which they raffle during the entire year. Through their efforts alone, they have raised thousands of dollars for the Roost scholarship fund. When complimented on their unselfishness and dedication their reply is always, "It's about the kids."

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Weekly Poop 12/21/11

Roost #44 Poop
·         Dates to Remember:
·        Friday – Water Conservation Group Meeting @
·        Tuesday – Ravens Rap @ the Blue Ox.  Ravens Room open up to customers at 6pm, every show.  Show starts @ 7pm, ending time may vary slightly.
·        Sunday, January 1 – Penguin Swim to raise money for Atlantic General Hospital.  Support the Ravens Roost #44 Team HERE.
·        Sunday, February 5 – Raven's Roost #44 Annual Jim Martin Super Bowl Party @ The Blue Ox.   Cost: $23 pp.  Time: 5:30 till?  Wings, pork BBQ with mini rolls, crab dip, meatballs, buffalo chicken dip, steamed shrimp, hamburgers/hot dogs with fixings, cheese/veggie tray, cole slaw, potato salad, brownies and lemon jello cake.  Alcohol/beverages included: Miller and Coors light on draft, iced tea, coffee, soda.  All other alcohol will be charged to individual per happy hour prices.  Money due by 1/27/2012.  Give your checks to Larry or Marie Gerst (302-436-1767) made payable to Raven's Roost #44.
·        Saturday, February 18 – Raven’s Roost #44 Post Football Season Dance, 7-11 p.m. benefiting Roost 44’s charities and featuring the band TRANZFUSION!  Ocean City Elks Lodge Hall – 137th Street Bayside.  $25 pp includes beer, chips, cash bar and money wheel.  For tickets contact: Mary Kendall 302-236-9617 or Ron Apperson 302-436-4790
·       

Ravens Poop
·        The Chargers racked up 415 yards as the Ravens’ road woes continued in a 34-14 loss; however the Ravens clinched a playoff spot thanks to the Titans loss.  The Ravens then dodged a major bullet when the 49ers beat the Steelers Monday night, allowing the Ravens to regain the #1 spot in the AFC North.  The Cleveland Browns (otherwise known as the Factory of Sadness) come to town for our final regular season home game of the year, Saturday 1pm.  We’ll see at least one home playoff game if the Ravens can win this weekend against the Browns and next weekend at Cincinnati.
·        Good news notes and nuggets from Sarah Ellison’s Blog here.  It’s getting to the point where I can hardly stand ESPN, but I do go Jamison Hensley’s Blog here to stay up to date with all of the AFC North news.

Local Poop
·        Now thru January 1, 2012 – Winterfest of Lights has been named a prestigious Top 100 Event for 2011 by American Bus Association.
Northside Park, 125th Street & The Bay
Sunday - Thursday 5:30 p.m. - 9:30 p.m.
Friday & Saturday 5:30 p.m. -10:30 p.m.
Admission is $5.00 for those 12 years & older, and FREE for those 11 years and younger.
Enjoy this winter paradise created for the whole family!  Take a ride through an animated wonderland on the Winterfest Express.  Board the train and sing Christmas Carols as you glide past spectacular lighted displays including the Twelve Days of Christmas and your favorite fairy tales.  Visit the Winterfest Village which is located inside a festive, heated pavilion decorated for the season.  Buy a cup of hot chocolate at The OC Recreation Boosters cafe, browse the Yukon Cornelius Gift Shop for that special stocking stuffer or OC souvenir.  Santa available for photos every night until December 23.
While in Ocean City, drive along the Avenue of Trees on Baltimore Avenue from 15th – 32nd Street.  Be sure to visit all of Ocean City, Maryland to create a lasting holiday memory.  More than one million holiday lights sparkle throughout the town on animated displays.

Funny Poop
·        Fred bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."

"She did," Fred replied.  "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"

Etcetera
·         Got poop?  Let me know!  I’m going to try to get this out every Wednesday so if you get it to me by Tuesday I’ll try to include it.  Your input is appreciated.
·         Be sure to visit our website @ http://www.ravensroost44.com/ or our blog @ http://ravensroost44.blogspot.com/ for the latest news, notes and nuggets.
·         Life is short.  Focus on the good.
·         As we do every year, my family and I will be decorating Jim Martin’s tree behind the Greene Turtle on Christmas Eve.  Anyone that wants to join us is welcome.  I’m sure we’ll head there after the game.
·         Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! 



Frank

Baltimore Ravens, let’s go
And put that ball across the line
So fly with talons spread wide
Go in and strike with Ravens pride
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Ravens dark wings take flight
Dive in and show them your might
For Baltimore and Maryland
You will fly on to victory


Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Weekly Poop 12/14/11

Roost #44 Poop
·         Dates to Remember:
·        Friday – Water Conservation Group Meeting @
·        Saturday – Ravens Roost Christmas Party @ the Cove Restaurant.  7-11 p.m.  There will be a cash bar available for mixed drinks at happy hour prices.  Music will be provided by our DJ, Mr. OC.  A Chinese raffle will be held to benefit Atlantic General Hospital.
·        Tuesday – Ravens Rap @ the Blue Ox.  Ravens Room open up to customers at 6pm, every show.  Show starts @ 7pm, ending time may vary slightly.
·        Sunday, January 1 – Penguin Swim to raise money for Atlantic General Hospital.  Support the Ravens Roost #44 Team HERE.
·        Sunday, February 5 – Raven's Roost #44 Annual Jim Martin Super Bowl Party @ The Blue Ox.   Cost: $23 pp.  Time: 5:30 till?  Wings, pork BBQ with mini rolls, crab dip, meatballs, buffalo chicken dip, steamed shrimp, hamburgers/hot dogs with fixings, cheese/veggie tray, cole slaw, potato salad, brownies and lemon jello cake.  Alcohol/beverages included: Miller and Coors light on draft, iced tea, coffee, soda.  All other alcohol will be charged to individual per happy hour prices.  Money due by 1/27/2012.  Give your checks to Larry or Marie Gerst (302-436-1767) made payable to Raven's Roost #44.
·        Saturday, February 18 – Raven’s Roost #44 Post Football Season Dance, 7-11 p.m. benefiting Roost 44’s charities and featuring the band TRANZFUSION!  Ocean City Elks Lodge Hall – 137th Street Bayside.  $25 pp includes beer, chips, cash bar and money wheel.  For tickets contact: Mary Kendall 302-236-9617 or Ron Apperson 302-436-4790
·       

Ravens Poop
·        The Ravens beat the pathetic Team Irsay 24-10 in a game that was never in doubt.  It’ll be a different story this week as the Ravens travel to San Diego to take on Phillip Rivers and the suddenly resurgent Chargers on Sunday Night Football, 8:20 pm.  The Ravens lock up a playoff spot with a win.
·        Good news notes and nuggets from Sarah Ellison’s Blog here.  It’s getting to the point where I can hardly stand ESPN, but I do go Jamison Hensley’s Blog here to stay up to date with all of the AFC North news.

Local Poop
·        Friday thru Sunday – Walk Through Bethlehem, Lynnhaven Baptist Church, Pocomoke.  Re-creation of history with stunning authenticity.  The tour encompasses over 13,000 sq. ft. of real estate and a crew of roughly 100 volunteers in re-creating this historic event.  The tour features Led by a guide, the interactive two-hour tour starts in Herod's palace in Jerusalem and leads to Bethlehem , where you will see Roman soldiers dressed in period clothes, a tax-collector booth, bread shop, salt shop, basket shop, fish house, carpentry shop, clothing store, coppersmith blacksmith, tannery, shepherd's home and, of course, the nativity scene.  Throughout the tour, there will be live animals of the time, including goats, donkeys, sheep, cows, horses and even a camel.  All people are dressed in period clothes and provide realistic re-enactment of the momentous historic event.  Bring the whole family and enjoy the true meaning of Christmas.  Admission is free.  Call 410-957-2858 for more information and to confirm dates and times.
·        Now thru January 1, 2012 – Winterfest of Lights has been named a prestigious Top 100 Event for 2011 by American Bus Association.
Northside Park, 125th Street & The Bay
Sunday - Thursday 5:30 p.m. - 9:30 p.m.
Friday & Saturday 5:30 p.m. -10:30 p.m.
Admission is $5.00 for those 12 years & older, and FREE for those 11 years and younger.
Enjoy this winter paradise created for the whole family!  Take a ride through an animated wonderland on the Winterfest Express.  Board the train and sing Christmas Carols as you glide past spectacular lighted displays including the Twelve Days of Christmas and your favorite fairy tales.  Visit the Winterfest Village which is located inside a festive, heated pavilion decorated for the season.  Buy a cup of hot chocolate at The OC Recreation Boosters cafe, browse the Yukon Cornelius Gift Shop for that special stocking stuffer or OC souvenir.  Santa available for photos every night until December 23.
While in Ocean City, drive along the Avenue of Trees on Baltimore Avenue from 15th – 32nd Street.  Be sure to visit all of Ocean City, Maryland to create a lasting holiday memory.  More than one million holiday lights sparkle throughout the town on animated displays.

Funny Poop
·        Three men died on Christmas and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honour of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The man from England fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.

"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.

The man from Wales reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys He shook them and said, "They're bells."

Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".

The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The Irishman replied, "These are Carols."

Etcetera
·         Got poop?  Let me know!  I’m going to try to get this out every Wednesday so if you get it to me by Tuesday I’ll try to include it.  Your input is appreciated.
·         Be sure to visit our website @ http://www.ravensroost44.com/ or our blog @ http://ravensroost44.blogspot.com/ for the latest news, notes and nuggets.
·         Life is short.  Focus on the good.



Frank

Baltimore Ravens, let’s go
And put that ball across the line
So fly with talons spread wide
Go in and strike with Ravens pride
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Ravens dark wings take flight
Dive in and show them your might
For Baltimore and Maryland
You will fly on to victory


Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The Fletch Drinking Game


Boy, what in the hell is the matter with you?



Purge all thoughts of The Chevy Chase Show or Snow Day and remember a time when Mr. Chase actually made you laugh. There was CaddyshackNational Lampoon’s Vacation, and Spies Like Us—but none could compare to Fletch. The most quotable movie ever made is a must-have for any self-respecting movie collection. So sit back, pop open a can of Coors, garnishee your wages, and prepare to laugh yourself into drunken stupor.

The Rules:

Print out this page and chill a generous reserve of your favorite vintage of beer. Keep a bottle of vodka, tequila, or gin nearby. (This is just a good idea anytime.) Pop Fletch into the VCR—if you’re lucky it’ll be on TV—and settle into the ass groove of your couch. Order a pizza and charge it to Mr. Underhill’s credit card.

Take One Drink When:

  • Fletch uses any of the following identities: Ted Nugent, Arnold Babar, Dr. Rosenpenis, Mr. Poon, Harry S. Truman, Igor Stravinsky, or John Cocktolstoyln.
  • Fletch charges something to Mr. Underhill’s account.
  • He uses a disguise (false teeth, doctor’s scrubs, bandages, wigs).
  • Larry assists him in any way (researching, scratching that hard to reach place on his back). Take an extra drink when she does both simultaneously. (Hint: Microfilm)
  • He uses a random Spanish phrase. (Example: Sierra del fuego.)
  • He gets his visit from Arnold T. Pants, Esq.
  • Provo, Utah is mentioned. (“It’s between Wyoming and Nevada. You’ve seen pictures.”)
  • He uses lingo to cover his ass. (Example: “He said he had melanoma, carcinoma…some kind of anoma.”)
  • He mentions his byline, Jane Doe.
  • Chick Hearn and Kareem Abdul-Jabar discuss Fletch’s mad b-ball skills. (“This gritty kid from the streets of Harlem really creates excitement.”)
  • Fletch actually shows up at the newspaper office. Do an extra drink every time Frank, his editor, yells at him.
  • He says, “Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.”
  • He makes any mention of the Lakers.
  • He goes back to his apartment “for a second wind of beer and a wardrobe change.”
  • Every time Fat Sam uses the term “free junk.”
  • He asks for “a glass of hot fat, and the head of Alfredo Garcia.”
  • Any reference is made to bone cancer.
  • Anyone or anything gets whacked with a tennis racket. (It happens twice.)
  • You see a Stanwyk wedding photo anywhere (on desks, in photo albums, etc.)
  • Fletch uses his “service entrance.”
  • He tells Gail to call him Fletch.

    Take Two Drinks When:
  • Fletch tells Gail to call him Irwin.
  • Gummy gets arrested.
  • You hear the phrase “no, never, never.” (Hint: It happens twice, one involves a tape recorder.)
  • He says, “It’s so simple, maybe you need a refresher course—HIIAA!—It’s all ball-bearings nowadays!”
  • Chief Karlin threatens to kill him.
  • He mentions his story about “off-track betting in the Himalayas.”
  • He shows a photo of the Mormon Tabernacle.
  • He offers to buy Frank some new deodorant.
  • You see a blown-up newspaper with the headline, “Leftovers are Haute Cuisine?”
  • You see the ugly dog photo over his bed.

    Do a Shot When:
  • Maurice and Pierre Cavanaugh are mentioned.
  • Alan Stanwyk wears a Lakers jersey.
  • He tells Arnold T. Pants to “get [himself] a nice piece of ass.”
  • You see the “Mr. Potato Head” TV commercial. (Hint: Igor Stravinsky.)
  • Fletch says, “…that pederast, Hanerhan.”
  • Fletch sings his version of “Strangers in the Night.” (“Strangers in my pants…”)

    Finish Every Remaining Drop of Alcohol in Your Possession If:
  • You can’t get the theme song “Bit by Bit” out of your head an hour after you finished watching. (Have you heard the news?/Makin’ all the headlines/Fletch is workin’ overtiiiiiiiiiiiimme!)

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Stallion Week 14

Trust him when he tells ya...

Ravens/Steelers

Ravens, Steelers fighting to the end


The Baltimore Ravens and the Pittsburgh Steelers don't face each other on the field for the rest of the regular season, but the AFC North rivals are engaged in the NFL's best battle over the next four weeks.

Both teams boast 9-3 records, the best marks in the division as well as the AFC. Both teams realize they can't afford another loss. And both teams know what's at stake.

The winner takes the AFC North title, a home playoff game and likely a first-round bye. The loser gets to pack its bags and head on the road for the postseason.

So, the Ravens and Steelers aren't fighting over supremacy of the division. They're fighting for a trip to the Super Bowl, based on recent history in the AFC and between the franchises.

The past four AFC champions have either been a No. 1 or No. 2 seed. The last fifth or sixth seed in the AFC to reach the Super Bowl was the 2005 Steelers.
The Ravens began talking about their quest for a top seed before the season began. Getting home field in this rivalry isn't only an advantage, it's a necessity. Baltimore is 7-2 against the Steelers at home since 2003, while two of the Ravens' past three seasons have ended in Pittsburgh.

Players on both teams anticipate Baltimore and Pittsburgh meeting in the playoffs once again.

"We’re going to have to see this team in January," Baltimore linebacker Terrell Suggs said after the Ravens won in Pittsburgh last month. "We just positioned ourselves for them to have to come to M&T [Bank Stadium] so we can do it.”

The Ravens and Steelers are the class of the AFC, even though they have the same record as New England and Houston. It's just difficult to think of the Patriots and Texans as serious contenders when New England has the NFL's worst defense and Houston has a third-string rookie starting at quarterback.

It's also difficult to think the Ravens or the Steelers will go to the stadium of their fiercest rival and leave with a victory. That's not to say it's impossible. Joe Flacco has led the Ravens on last-minute, game-winning touchdown drives on his last two regular-season trips to Pittsburgh's Heinz Field. And Ben Roethlisberger has thrown two winning, fourth-quarter touchdown passes in Baltimore in 2008 and 2010.

Still, both teams and their defenses are playing at a different level when they're in front of their home crowd. The Ravens have won eight straight games at M&T Bank Stadium, the second-longest current streak in the NFL (behind the Green Bay Packers). Baltimore has outscored opponents at home 175-95, beating the likes of Pittsburgh, Houston, San Francisco, Cincinnati and the New York Jets.

The Steelers are 29-9 (.763) at Heinz Field under coach Mike Tomlin, including 5-1 this season. Pittsburgh has outscored teams at home 159-77, defeating the likes of New England, Tennessee and Cincinnati.

What makes it so tough to beat these teams at their own place is Ray Lewis, Suggs, Troy Polamalu and James Harrison. Since 2008, the Ravens have given up the fewest points at home (13.4) and the Steelers have allowed the second fewest (15.7). Over that same span, Pittsburgh has given up the fewest yards at home (268.6) and Baltimore has allowed the second fewest (272.2).

The difference is the Ravens can decide their playoff future. If Baltimore wins the final four games, the Ravens will host their first playoff game since 2006.

"We know we control our own destiny," Ravens running back Ray Rice said. "Regardless of who we play, we've got to take care of business."

The reason the Ravens control their destiny is because they swept Pittsburgh in the regular season for only the second time in their history. Giving up that 92-yard drive to Flacco in the final minutes represents the difference between the Steelers leading the Ravens and trailing them.

Now, in order for the Steelers to win their sixth AFC North title, they have to finish one game ahead of Baltimore. That means Pittsburgh needs to win its last four games (home against Cleveland, at San Francisco, home against St. Louis and at Cleveland) and the Ravens need to lose at least one of their remaining games (home against winless Indianapolis, at San Diego, home against Cleveland and at Cincinnati).

"Coach Tomlin always talks about just playing," Steelers wide receiver Hines Ward said. "Don't look at Baltimore. We just have to worry about what we can do [and] take it one game at a time."

Ward added: "We just have to keep playing. We can't control what Baltimore does. If we do what we do, at the end, we might be there in the hunt of things."

For the Ravens and Steelers, the end of this season has a different feel because the teams aren't playing each other in December for the first time in five years. Instead of delivering knockout blows to one another, the Ravens and Steelers know that beating the other teams could hurt their rival just as much.

If Baltimore wins out, it likely will earn the top seed in the AFC based on a better strength of victory over New England and Houston. That would mean the road to the Super Bowl would go through Baltimore for the first time in the Ravens' 16-year existence.

“Our guys understand the importance of where we’re at," Ravens coach John Harbaugh said, "because if you’re going to be at this level, you’re not just competing against the team you have to play on Sunday."