Politics, Corporations and Cows

DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

CORPORATIONS: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A KENTUCKY CORPORATION: You have two cows. You are attracted to the one on the left.
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Corporations in other countries …..
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A GREEK CORPORATION: You borrow two cows from the Germans. You eat them both. The German bank comes to collect their milk, but you don’t have any. So you borrow two cows from the IMF. You eat both of them also. Now both the German banks and the IMF want their milk. You scream that this is unfair and start a riot.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

An IRAQI Corporation: Everyone thinks you have a lot of cows. You tell them you have none. They don’t believe you and bomb the shit out of you. You still have no cows but at least you are a democracy.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Then the government counts them and you learn you have five cows. A year later the government counts again and you learn you now have 42 cows. Congratulations, comrade! You met the 5-year plan!

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You only have two cows in the entire country. They are both mad.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.

AN ISRAELI CORPORATION: You have two cows. You badger one night and day, “Why aren’t you a doctor yet?”. You badger the other, “why aren’t you a banker yet?” Both cows soon die of massive guilt.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship both of them.