Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Weekly Poop 8/24/16

Roost #44 Poop
·         Dates to Remember:
o   Friday – WCS Meeting @…
o   Friday, November 4th - Casino Bus Trip to Harrington.  Pickup at Montego Bay at 8:30, and Rose’s Millsboro at 9 am; Return leaving Harrington at 3pm.  Cost: $20.00 per person with $15.00 Free Slot pay and $7.00 credit towards luncheon buffet.  Please contact Mary Kendall to sign up via phone: 302-236-9617 or email:  Any questions please let me know.  Mary.
·         Members please bring plastic or paper shopping bags to the monthly Roost meetings.  The bags will be taken to Diakonia by Eric for use in distributing food donations to the community.
·         Ticket Exchange:
o   Season tickets for sale: 4 seats Section 506 Row 10 Seat 1-4, $3080.  Please contact Geof Storm at 443-241-4858 or Kathi Storm at 410-596-0810.
o   PSL'S AND TICKETS.  PSL'S sec 539 row 17 seats 1, 2 and 3 (1 is the aisle seat) $1,200 ea per PSL $3600 total for PSL'S.  Season tickets for these seats also available.  Bill C 443-513-1697 or
o   I have 2 tickets for sale for the Thursday night game against the Browns.  Face value of $135 + $25 bus seats to/from OC/game = $160/each.  Sec. 103, Row 32, seats 10 & 11.  Thanks, Gary, 443-618-9972.
·         Road Trip: Please see this month's Ravens Caw for trip information, or call Gary, 443-618-9972.  You do not have to be going to the game in order to buy a shirt.  Please see/call Gary for more information.
·         Season Bus: Bus seats for individual games are $45.00.  Please contact Mike at 410.251.6821.
·         Penguin Swim: SAVE THE DATE!!  Wednesday Sept 7th.  OC RR44 2016 Bar-Hop Cruise to benefit the Ravens Roost #44 Penguin Swim Team in support of the Atlantic General Hospital Penguin Swim.  ALL MONEY RAISED IS DONATED TO AGH. 
o   Meet at MR Ducks.  HH prices on food and drinks till 6 pm. 
o   5:45 pm board “The Explorer” with Capt. Jack.  Boat leaves PROMPTLY at 6 pm, will return about 10 – 10:30 pm.  Cash bar on boat - $3 Beer, $4 Wine, $5 Mixed Drinks.
o   First stop TBD
o   Second stop is OC Fish Company (formally Captains Galley).  Happy hour prices on select drinks and food.  Start boarding @ 8:10 pm, leave @ 8:20 pm.
o   Third stop is Sunset Grill.  Happy hour prices on drinks and food.  Start boarding 9:30 pm, Leave 9:40 pm.
o   10 pm-ish return to MR Ducks.
o   $35/pp.  LIMITED TO 65 PEOPLE.  This sells out fast so please sign up early.  All checks should be made out to “Ravens Roost #44”.  Send an email to to reserve a spot.  Checks can be mailed to: 15 Winward Ct., Ocean Pines, MD 21811.  Gary.
·         Roost Apparel: The Hawaiian shirts ordered by Leslie Viands, Nancy Dalesio, Audrey Fohner and Moes Parrish have not yet been picked up.  Maggie has a list of people who will buy them if they are not picked up by the September 8th meeting.  Please contact Maggie at 410-208-2756 or to make arrangements for pick up and payment.  If no contact, they will be sold to the waiting list folks on September 8th.
·         From the Prez:
o   Bull Roast tix open to all members and public and that we are only selling 200.
o   Rap show on Sept 7th @ the Original Greene Turtle.  New time this year is 6 pm.
o   Anyone wanting to nominate member for member of the year must give, in writing, anyone they want to nominate to a board or member or previous winner. Board and previous members will vote by October's meeting.
·         Bylaws Committee: I ask for any members to send me any additional thoughts on the proposed bylaw change as has been discussed at the last three meetings.  The vote will take place at the September meeting.  Gary.
·         Tailgate @ Brandywine - As I mentioned at the Aug. meeting, "Brandywine Senior Living at Fenwick Island" has invited RR44 to enjoy a tailgate party with the residents.  The two games we are looking at are Sept. 25th vs Jaguars and Oct. 23rd vs The Jets.  Please let me know if you would be interested in attending either of these events.  Gary, 443-618-9972.
·         Entertainment Committee:
All members are welcome to join the committee! We need more participation from all members.
2016 Roost Entertainment Activities
o   Boardwalk Bike Ride/ Walk - 2nd Saturday of September & October.  Meet at 27th Street at 9 AM.  Afterwards some of us go to breakfast at the Sahara on Johnny Unitas Way (19th Street).  Come join us for breakfast whether you did the Boards or not.  Another opportunity to see old friends and make new ones.
o   Crab Feast - Saturday, October 1st at Shrimp Boat, 1-5 pm.  $35 pp, which includes tax and grat.  Menu includes crabs, fried chicken, corn on the cob, coleslaw, hush puppies, Coors Light and Miller Lite draft, soda, iced tea, and water.  No children please but non-members are okay.  Checks only payable to Ravens Roost #44.  Sign Up Sheet at the August and September meeting and the cutoff date is September 20.
o   Dover Air Museum & Dogfish Brewer Tours Sat. 10/15/16.  Plan is to leave OC about 8:30 am , tour the museum for about 2 1/2 hrs, then go to brewery in Milton where lunch is on your own $. Tours & tasting of 4 beers is free. We will leave for OC whenever everyone is done. Our only pre-paid cost will be for the bus & that depends on how many we have & what bus arrangements I can get. If the bus has no bathroom (last resort) we will stop as needed because we have no real schedule to stick with.  The event will be limited to a manageable size of 25.  We currently have 16.  You can sign up by calling Ron at 302-436-4790.  First come, first served: we will start a wait list after 25.
o   Bull & Oyster Roast - October 29th, 2-6 PM at the American Legion on 23rd St. and Coastal Highway. This is our annual fund raising event!  So bring your friends and family too. Tickets are $40.  The menu includes pit beef, fried oysters, raw oysters, oyster stew, sausage & peppers & onions, sides, dessert, beer and soda.  Cash bar.  Live music by The Stims.  Sign up Sheet at next Roost Meeting or send checks, made out to Ravens Roost #44, for $40 PP to Eric Waterman, 311 S. Ocean Drive, OC, MD 21842.
o   Canned Food Drive - Bring canned goods to November 10th Roost meeting for local food bank.
o   Christmas Party - December 10th, 6-10PM at the Cove Restaurant at Bayside.
o   Last Game of the Season Party – T/B/D
o   Other Activities Under Discussion
o   Raft Up
o   Tour of the Castle (Raven Training Facility)
o   Tour of M&T Bank Stadium
o   Day trip to Chincoteague or Onancock
o   Pub Crawl at Kent Narrows
o   Tour of Seacrets Distillery
o   Tour of OC Brewing Company

Ravens Poop
·         Good daily dose of Ravens news notes and nuggets here.  It’s getting to the point where I can hardly stand ESPN, but I do go Jamison Hensley’s Blog here to stay up to date with all of the AFC North news.
·         All the best Orioles news notes and nuggets at Britt's Bird Watch here.

Local Poop
·         Tonight - Free Movies on the Beach - Carousel Hotel on 118th St., On the Beach at the Carousel Hotel.  Enjoy free movies on the beach every Wednesday from June 1 to August 31 at the Carousel Hotel on 117th St. in Ocean City MD.  Each week, a general audience movie is presented free of charge on our 16 foot projector.   Bring a beach chair or blanket & enjoy the night beside the ocean. Movie starts around 8:30 p.m.  For more information, call 800-626-2326.
Save the Date - Complete Season Schedule:
o   August 24: Minions
o   August 31: Star Wars; The Force Awakens
·         Tonight - Free Concerts on the Beach, On the Beach at the Caroline Street Stage. Free, live entertainment while you relax on the beach Wednesday nights from July 13 to August 31 from 8:00pm - 9:30pm.  Enjoy tribute bands and local favorites.  Treat yourself to a collection of summer beach music, watch the sun set, view the sparkling blue ocean and dance by moonlight.  There is no better setting for relaxing than Concerts on the Beach.  The beach beat will have your hands clapping and your toes tapping to the variety of entertainment.  For more information about Concerts on the Beach, call 410-250-0125.  Entertainment subject to change without notice.
Season Concert Schedule:
o   August 24 - The Beach Bumz (Beach Music)
o   August 31 - Funk Shue (Funkiest 4 on the Shore)
·         Today thru Sunday - OC Sandfest.  Watch Master Champion Sand Sculptors, The Beach at North Division Street.  Back by popular demand!  Experience all of the fun at the 3rd Annual Ocean City Sandfest on August 22-28.  OC Sandfest will feature giant sand sculptures along the beautiful Ocean City boardwalk with special family attractions and activities.
Watch as master champion sand sculptors transform the smooth beach sand into massive works of art.  Sculptures will remain on display all week.  Stroll along the Boardwalk from N. Division Street to 4th Street to see these breathtaking sculptures.
There will be a Sand Sculpting Classes and a Family Sand Sculpting Demonstration.  Prizes will be awarded.  Gather your friends and family and join the fun!  All events will be taking place on the beach near N. Division Street and are weather permitting.
Plus, check out the sand sculptures like you've never seen before as they light up the night.  This incredible sight is one not to miss!
·         Tomorrow – Sunset Park Party Nights - Free Concert, S. Division St. & the Bay.  Free Concerts Open to the Public Every Thursday Night in July and August from 7pm – 9pm.
Enjoy a free concert while watching the sun set over the Isle of Wight Bay...the perfect location in Ocean City!  Sunset Park is located along South Division Street between Philadelphia Avenue and the Bay, next to the US Coast Guard Station in downtown Ocean City MD.
All concert admissions and parking are free and open to the public. Beverages, including beer, are available for purchase.
Please bring your own chair.
2016 Schedule
o   August 25 - Sir Rod (Rod Stewart Tribute)
For more information, call 410-289-7739.
·         Tomorrow - Locals Under the Lights, Freeman Stage.  Audience members can sit back, relax and enjoy local artists performing on the same stage as national recording artists, such as The Band Perry, Huey Lewis and The News, Gladys Knight and The Wailers.  Think you’ve got what it takes?  Submit an application today!  Free.  BYOC (Bring Your Own Chair).
·         Tomorrow thru Sunday - Ocean City Jeep Week - Sand, Sun & Off Road Fun, Ocean City Convention Center.  Get your Jeep ready to experience the sun, sand, and mud!  You don't need a Jeep to check out all the fun - daily passes available.  Family fun event with 250+ Jeeps participating in Beach Crawls, Jeep Jams, and Show & Shines!
·         Friday - The Bronx Wanderers at Freeman Stage, Freeman Stage.  The Bronx Wanderers recreate the magic of the ’50s, ’60s and ’70s rock ’n’ roll and build an energetic bond with their audience.  The group is made up of a father and two sons, who guarantee an evening of toe-tapping, hand-clapping and dancing in the aisles.  With favorite, such as “Sherry,” “Runaway,” “We Gotta Get Out of This Place,” “Looking for an Echo,” and even Coldplay’s “Viva La Vida,” the show dazzles the listener with a nonstop powerhouse of hits.  “It never gets old,” said lead singer Yo’ Vinny.  “It just doesn’t get better than this.  We don’t rest on our laurels (and) never will.”  $25.  Bring your own chair.
·         Friday & Saturday - North American Sea Glass Festival, Open To The Public, Roland E. Powell Convention Center.  Internationally-recognized sea glass jewelry artists, experienced collectors, and vendors gather at this annual festival featuring collectors exhibitions, presentations, lectures, and Shard of the Year Contest.  Special Sea Glass Soiree event on Friday evening from 5 – 9 pm; $10 admission.  Sea Glass Festival Saturday 9 am – 6 pm; $5 admission.  Tickets available at the Convention Center box office.  For complete details and schedule, please visit
·         Saturday (morning) - Zoo in my Room Puppet Musical at Freeman Stage, Freeman Stage.  “Zoo In My Room” puppet musical tells the story of retired zookeeper Farmer Stu and his animal family that is grown through adoption.  This one-of-a-kind show features a large barn set that comes alive with amazing animal puppets who talk, joke and sing.  As each new zoo animal joins the farm, lessons are learned, diversity is celebrated, and the barn becomes a more joyful, loving, and musical place.  The show’s story and original songs were created by “Kidsinger Jim” Hossick of Bowie, Maryland, who has been singing and storytelling for children for 24 years.  He is assisted by Dawn Madak of Annapolis, who has also performed in a kid’s music band as a percussionist and singer.  Free.  Bring Your Own Chair.
·         Saturday (evening) - The Wailers at Freeman Stage, Freeman Stage.  Now well into their fifth decade, The Wailers truly are living legends who embody the nobility, conviction and progressiveness of Bob Marley and his music.  Together with Bob Marley, The Wailers have sold over 250 million albums and have played to an estimated 24 million people across the globe.  The anchor of the band is Aston “Family Man” Barrett, who in addition to being Marley’s most trusted lieutenant and co-producer, played on countless other classic reggae hits throughout the ’70s.  The authenticity he brings to the Wailers’ sound is indisputable and yet today’s line-up combines old school know-how with lead vocals from one of Jamaica’s most exciting new singers.  The Wailers are undoubtedly the world’s premier reggae and world music group who bring high energy shows to fans across the globe.  $25.  Bring Your Own Chair.
·         Sunday - Sundaes in the Park - Free Concert, Family Fun & Fireworks, Northside Park.  Outdoor live music, children's activities, ice cream and fireworks...what could be better?
Bring your picnic basket and beach chairs to Northside Park, located at 125th Street and the Bay for ice cream sundaes, live entertainment, children's activities and fireworks.  All entertainment is free.  Create your own ice cream sundae with delicious toppings for a small price.  Listen to your musical favorites and watch the sunset over the beautiful Assawoman Bay.  Fireworks start at 9pm.  For more information call 410-250-0125.
Live Music Schedule
o   August 28 - Jesse Garron's Tribute to Elvis
o   September 4 - The Janitors (Variety)
·         Sunday - OC Beach Lights Spectacular - Lasers, lights, video, music and special effects, The Beach at North Division Street.  Returning to Ocean City this summer is the fun and exciting free event for the entire family, OC Beach Lights Spectacular!  These shows featuring lasers, lights, video, fireworks, music, special effects and audio production all displayed on a 5 story tall giant beach ball will light up the beach at North Division Street.  The show is visible along the south end of the beach and boardwalk with the best viewing area on the Boardwalk at North Division Street.  Show times are 9:30pm, 10:00pm and 10:30pm.  Each show is approximately 8 minutes in length.
·         September 1 thru September 4 - The Wall That Heals is coming to: Delaware Tech's Owens Campus, Carter Partnership Center Lawn, 21179 College Drive, Georgetown, DE 19947.
Starting September 1st and will be there through September 4th.  It will be open to the public 24 hours a day starting 4:00PM starting September 1st and runs through 4:00 PM September 4th.  As part of this four-day event, the College is proudly hosting an opening ceremony on September 1st.  I invite you to join us as we pay special tribute to our nation's heroes.  Please RSVP if you plan to attend the opening ceremony by August 26, 2016, by calling Kim Holston at 302.857.1667, or via email at
The Wall That Heals, a 250-foot replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial and mobile Education Center, honors the more than three million Americans who served in the U.S. Armed forces during the Vietnam War, and its wall bears the names of the more than 58,000 men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice in Southeast Asia during that time.
The Vietnam Veterans Memorial is the most visited memorial in our Nation's Capital, with more than four million visitors each year, yet many Americans - including many veterans and their families - have not been able to visit.  The Wall That Heals gives many more people the opportunity to see the Memorial and honor those who served.
·         Wednesday, September 7 – Worcester County Veterans Memorial @ Ocean Pines 10th Annual Golf Tournament, Ocean Pines Golf & Country Club.  Check-in 11 am, Shotgun start @ 12 noon.  $90 per player, includes greens fees w/ cart, range balls, lunch, door prize entry, dinner buffet, awards/prizes/goodie bag.  For additional info contact Marie Gilmore @ 410.726.2881, or

Funny Poop
·         Rodney Dangerfield Stand Up Jokes
o   With my wife I don't get no respect.  I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.'  The waiter joined me.
o   I'm not a sexy guy.  I went to a hooker.  I dropped my pants.  She dropped her price.
o   I tell you, I'm not a sexy guy.  I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine.  The staples covered everything!
o   What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
o   Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide."  He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
o   I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection.  My yo-yo, it never came back!
o   Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor.  I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
o   When I was a kid I got no respect.  The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again."
o   I tell ya, my wife was never nice.  On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
o   I tell you, with my doctor, I don't get no respect.  I told him, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills."  He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
o   Some dog I got too.  We call him Egypt because he leaves a pyramid in every room.
o   With my dog I don't get no respect.  He keeps barking at the front door.  He don't want to go out.  He wants me to leave.
o   What a dog I got.  His favorite bone is in my arm!
o   Last week I saw my psychiatrist.  I told him, "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a dog."  He told me to get off his couch.
o   I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I'd get.
o   My wife and I were happy for twenty years.  Then we met.
o   I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike.  She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!
o   One night I came home.  I figured, let my wife come on.  I'll play it cool.  Let her make the first move.  She went to Florida.
o   I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake.  He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."
o   My doctor told me to watch my drinking.  Now I drink in front of a mirror.
o   I drink too much.  Way too much.  My doctor drew blood.  He ran a tab.
o   When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry.  We did everything we could...but he pulled through."
o   I come from a stupid family.  During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!
o   My father was stupid.  He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.
o   My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
o   My mother never breast fed me.  She told me that she only liked me as a friend.
o   My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
o   My wife made me join a bridge club.  I jump off next Tuesday.
o   Last week my tie caught on fire.  Some guy tried to put it out with an ax!
o   I met the surgeon general.  He offered me a cigarette.
o   One time I went to a hotel.  I asked the bellhop to handle my bag.  He felt up my wife!
o   This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.
o   I'm a bad lover.  Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
o   My wife only has sex with me for a purpose.  Last night she used me to time an egg.
o   It's tough to stay married.  My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!
o   When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.
o   I could tell that my parents hated me.  My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
o   One year they wanted to make me poster boy...for birth control.
o   I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father.  He said he wanted more proof.
o   My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap.  He was in the electric chair.
o   Once when I was lost I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents.  I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?"  He said, "I don't know kid.  There are so many places they can hide."
o   I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor.  They sent a priest up to talk to me.  He said, "On your mark..."
o   When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.
o   I had a lot of pimples too.  One day I fell asleep in a library. I woke up and a blind man was reading my face.
o   One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked.  I said to the guy, "Hey buddy...why are you doing that for?"  He said, "Because you came home early."
o   I went to see my doctor...Doctor Vidi-boom-ba.  Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up.  What's wrong with me?  He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
o   I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow.  He told me to wear a brown necktie.
o   My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy.  I told him, "If you don't mind, I'd like a second opinion."  He said, "All right.  You're ugly too!"
o   I was so ugly, my mother used to feed me with a slingshot!
o   When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!"
o   And we were poor too.  Why, if I wasn't born a boy, I'd have nothing to play with!
o   My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it!  I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?"  She said, "No, but I got the license plate."
o   Last night my wife met me at the front door.  She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
o   A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over.  There's nobody home." I went over.  Nobody was home!
o   A hooker once told me she had a headache.
o   I went to a massage parlor.  It was self service.
o   If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all.
o   I was making love to this girl and she started crying.  I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?"  She said, "No, I hate myself now."
o   I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger.  That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.
o   I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.
o   I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.
o   I knew a girl so ugly, the last time I saw a mouth like hers it had a hook on the end of it.
o   I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint--a Saint Bernard!
o   I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks.  The bartender asked me, "What'll you have?"  I said, "Surprise me."  He showed me a naked picture of my wife.
o   During sex my wife always wants to talk to me.  Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
o   My marriage is on the rocks again.  Yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
o   I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
o   I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
o   What a dog I got.  Last night he went on the paper 4 times - 3 while I was reading it.
o   What a dog I got. I tried to mate her - she wants 50 biscuits.
o   What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
o   I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
o   I came from a real tough neighborhood.  In the local restaurant I sat down and had broken leg of lamb.
o   I came from a real tough neighborhood.  In the library the sign says "shut the f..k up"!
o   I came from a real tough neighborhood.  Once a guy pulled a knife on me.  I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
o   I came from a real tough neighborhood.  I bought a waterbed and found a guy at the bottom of it.
o   I came from a real tough neighborhood.  I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
o   I came from a real tough neighborhood.  On my street, the kids take hubcaps - from moving cars.
o   My wife's not to smart.  I told her our kids were spoiled.  She said, "all kids smell that way".
o   My wife had her drivers test the other day.  She got 8 out of 10.  The other 2 guys jumped clear.
o   My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer.  It was in a zoo.
o   There are a pair of shoes on the dashboard. they belong to the last guy she hit
o   My cousins gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.
o   My cousins gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.
o   My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.

·         Got poop?  Let me know!  I’m going to try to get this out every Wednesday so if you get it to me by Tuesday I’ll try to include it.  Your input is appreciated.
·         Our website is up and running.  Be sure to bookmark our address - or go to our blog @ for the latest news, notes and nuggets.
·         Life is short. Focus on the good.


Baltimore Ravens, let’s go
And put that ball across the line
So fly with talons spread wide
Go in and strike with Ravens pride
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Ravens dark wings take flight
Dive in and show them your might
For Baltimore and Maryland
You will fly on to victory

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