Roost #44 Poop
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Friday, – Water Conservation Group Meeting @...
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Saturday, June 30 – Tony is trying to put a bus trip together to
the Orioles game @ Camden Yards. It’s a 4:05 pm start and is the Earl Weaver
statue dedication day. Cost to be
determined but it’s probably going to be around $42 per person. Tony needs at least 40 people to attend to
make it all work. For details call Tony
@ (302) 436-6266.
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Sunday, July 15 – Ravens
Roost Annual Summer Picnic @ White Horse Pavilion in Ocean Pines from
1-6pm. Roost #44 members’ cost will be
$10, guests $15 and includes a chance to win the 50/50 raffle. One guest per person and must be spouse or
significant other. Menu: Premium
burgers, hot dogs, sausage, jerk chicken, assorted salads and snacks, corn on
the cob, watermelon, desserts and assorted beverages. Horseshoes.
Music by Mr. OC. Sign up at the
June meeting or call Tom Maly at 302-541-0780 to get on the list.
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TBD – Summer Raft-ups. Gary is no longer allowed to pick the dates
since it always storms when he does.
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Saturday, October 27 – Ravens
Roost #44 Crab Feast. Details soon.
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Saturday, December 15 – Ravens
Roost #44 Christmas Party. Details
soon.
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Saturday, April 13, 2013 – Ravens
Roost #44 Dance. Details soon.
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Roost
Apparel: There are
just two extra jerseys left from the last order: (1) Adult Medium and (1) Adult
XL. Maggie Miller will have those at the
next meeting for sale ($35 each). If you
missed out on the last order and you want one in time for the season, please
see Maggie at the next meeting and get your name on the list for the next
order. Don't need to pay for them until
they are delivered to you, but snooze and you will lose because this will be
the last order before the season begins! Also: Maggie is still taking orders for the
new Raven Roost 44 "character shirts" with the Ox, Turtle and Raven
on the beach on the back of the shirt. They
come in tanks and short sleeve styles. New
colors for the guys and v-necks for the ladies! They are perfect for wearing around town this
summer and sporting your "Ravenesque" spirit! Tanks $12, Short sleeve T's $15. Maggie needs 75 orders to get a run made and
so far have 30 orders, so please put your name on the list so we can get those shirts
too. Finally, there are still "old
style" T's left (Property of Ravens Roost 44) as well as sweatshirts that
have languished in Maggie's garage for too long! Get 'em while they last at the next meeting: Short sleeve T's for $5! Long sleeve T's for $10! Sweatshirts for $20! A variety of sizes and colors (ash grey,
purple and black). How can you say
no??!!"
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ROAD
TRIP 2012-KANSAS CITY, MO – Our road trip this year will be Kansas City,
MO-The Cue (as is barbeque) Capital of the World. The game is on 10/7. The cost will be approx. $350/person-dbl.
occupancy (2 to a room). The trip
includes a 3-night stay (10.5-10.7) at the Embassy Suites hotel in KC, game-day
ticket (lower level endzone), transportation to the game and a road trip tee
shirt & koozies. Note: You are
responsible for your own transportation. Call or contact Mike for further details at
410.250.3020 or at montegomike@verizon.net.
Ravens Poop
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Good news notes and nuggets from
Sarah Ellison’s Blog here. It’s getting to the point where I can hardly
stand ESPN, but I do go Jamison
Hensley’s Blog here to stay
up to date with all of the AFC North news.
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With no more training camp in Westminster, the Ravens are doing
some different things…See the preseason schedule here.
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Today – Firemen's Parade, 15th
St. & Baltimore Ave. to 32nd St. Parade
starts at 1pm on 15th Street and Baltimore Avenue. Enjoy equipment, bands and floats. The annual convention for the Maryland Fire
Rescue Service occurs earlier in the week, including training programs,
business meetings & exhibits. The
public is invited to come in & "meet the firemen" & see exhibits.
Mon. - Wed. from 9am - 4pm.
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Today – Free Movies on the Beach,
117th St. on the beach at the Carousel Resort Hotel. Enjoy a movie on the beach with our 16-foot
projector. Each week a general audience
movie is presented free of charge. Bring
a blanket & enjoy the night beside the ocean. Movie starts around 8:30 p.m.
Summer Movie Schedule:
o June
20: Cars 2
o June
27: Kung Fu Panda 2
o July
3: The Smurfs
o July
11: Puss in Boots
o July
18: Adventures of Tin Tin
o July
25: the Muppets
o August
1: Soul Surfer
o August
8: Jack & Jill
o August
15: Dolphin Tale
o August
22: Hugo
o August
29: The Zookeeper
For
more information, call 410-524-1000.
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Tomorrow – Arts on the Docks, Ocean
City Fishing Center. Come to the Ocean
City Fishing Center marina to see local artists showcase their works. For more information, call 410-213-1121.
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Tomorrow – At the Freeman Stage at
Bayside – Jesse Garron's Tribute to Elvis, 7:00pm - 9:00pm. Acclaimed as the “closest thing to the King”,
Jesse possesses the voice, looks and charisma that made Elvis a superstar. His Vegas-style rendition is a constant fan
favorite that draws audiences in from the minute he walks on stage and leaves
them standing at the end of the performance. Jesse is the most authentic recreation of an
Elvis concert available in today’s market.......Garronteed! Free!
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Friday – At the Freeman Stage at Bayside
– Broadway at the Beach, 7:00pm - 9:00pm.
Clear Space Theatre Company’s electrifying ensemble of talented
performers comes together to create this all-new revue of contemporary and
pop/rock hits from musical theatre repertoire. From classic rock musicals like “Hair” and
“Jesus Christ Superstar,” to blockbusters such as “Les Miserables” and “Wicked”
and contemporary hits like “Rock of Ages” and Green Day’s “American idiot,” $10*
• Kids are free! *A handling fee will be applied to all ticket purchases.
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Saturday (morning) – At the Freeman
Stage at Bayside – Gary Lloyd – Storyteller, 10:00am - 12:00pm, Gary Lloyd tells tales that
buzz in your ears while answering the question, “Two bees or not Two
bees?” His enthusiasm shows his love of
his craft and his respect for his audiences. Gary has now told stories to over 850,000
listeners of all ages in 8 states. Gary
won a national level award for his telling, but truly savors the comments he
gets all the time from children and adults who rediscover just how fun and
powerful storytelling can be. Wear
yellow and black for a special present! Free!
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Sunday – Beach Lights Spectacular,
On the Beach at North Division St. Beach
Lights Spectacular is a new, exciting show featuring lasers, lights and special
effects displayed on a giant 5-story beach ball choreographed to action-packed
music. Beach Lights Spectacular will be
lighting up Ocean City three times a night every Sunday from Memorial Day to
Labor Day! Show times are 9:30pm,
10:00pm and 10:30pm.
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Monday – Free Movies on the Beach
- 27th St. on the Beach at 27th St. Enjoy
a movie on the beach with our 16-foot projector. Each week a general audience movie is
presented free of charge. Bring a
blanket & enjoy the night beside the ocean. Movie starts around 8:30 p.m.
Summer Movie Schedule:
o June
25: Gidget (Vintage Movie)
o June
29: Dolphin Tale
o July
2: Puss in Boots
o July
6: HOP
o July
9: Yogi Bear
o July
13: Kung Fu Panda 2
o July
16: Happy Feet 2
o July
20: UP
o July
23: Cars 2
o July
27: Tangled
o July
30: The Smurfs
o August
3: Winnie the Pooh
o August
6: Princess and the Frog
o August
10: The Muppets
For
more information, call 1-800-626-2326.
·
Tuesday – Family Beach Olympics, on the
Beach at 27th St. Enjoy fun on the
beach! Each Tuesday evening features a
variety of contests for all ages. Events
may include sand castle contests, tug-of-war, relays and more. All activities are free and are offered from
6:30 to 8:30 p.m. For more information,
call 1-800-626-2326.
·
Tuesday – Beach Fireworks,
On the Beach at North Division St. Beach
Fireworks Display is an amazing fireworks show choreographed to music. This event will take place every Tuesday night
starting May 29, 2012 at 10:30 on the beach at North Division Street in
downtown Ocean City. The shows will run
through the entire summer. There will be
no show on July 3, 2012 since there will be a 4th of July Fireworks Celebration
the next night.
The final fireworks show will be Sunday (not Tuesday), September 2nd and will be part of the 10:30pm Beach Lights Spectacular Show. This will be the grand finale of the summer.
The final fireworks show will be Sunday (not Tuesday), September 2nd and will be part of the 10:30pm Beach Lights Spectacular Show. This will be the grand finale of the summer.
Funny Poop
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A very thirsty man goes into a bar.
As he waits to get the bartender's attention, a regular sitting
next to him calls out, "I'll have another waterloo."
The bartender gives the regular a tall ice cold drink and asks the
newcomer what he would like The thirsty man points to the man next to him and
says, "I guess I'll have what he's having, a waterloo."
So the bartender brings the newcomer a tall ice cold drink. The man takes a long deep drink and calls
out, "HEY! This isn't any good! It tastes just like water!"
The regular bar patron sitting next to him says, "It is
water. That's all I drink." He turns to the bartender and says,
"Right Lou?"
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Sister Mary Katherine lived in a
convent, a block away from Jack's liquor store. One day, in walked Sister Mary Katherine and
she said, "Oh Jack, give me a pint o' the brandy."
"Sister Mary Katherine," exclaimed Jack, "I could never do that! I've never sold alcohol to a nun in my life!" "Oh Jack," she responded, "it's only for the Mother Superior."
Her voice dropped.
"It helps her constipation, you know."
So, Jack sold her the brandy. Later that night Jack closed the store and walked home. As he passed the convent, who should he see but Sister Mary Katherine; and she was snookered. She was singing and dancing, whirling around and flapping her arms like a bird, right there on the sidewalk. A crowd was gathering, so Jack pushed through and exclaimed, "Sister Mary Katherine! For shame! You told me this was for the Mother Superior's constipation!"
"Sister Mary Katherine," exclaimed Jack, "I could never do that! I've never sold alcohol to a nun in my life!" "Oh Jack," she responded, "it's only for the Mother Superior."
Her voice dropped.
"It helps her constipation, you know."
So, Jack sold her the brandy. Later that night Jack closed the store and walked home. As he passed the convent, who should he see but Sister Mary Katherine; and she was snookered. She was singing and dancing, whirling around and flapping her arms like a bird, right there on the sidewalk. A crowd was gathering, so Jack pushed through and exclaimed, "Sister Mary Katherine! For shame! You told me this was for the Mother Superior's constipation!"
Sister Mary Katherine didn't miss a beat
as she replied: "And so it is, me lad, so it is. When she sees me, she's going to shit!"
·
What I Want in a Man, Original List (age 22):
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover.
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32):
1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week.
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42):
1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Doesn’t drive off until I’m in the car
3. Works steady — splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I’m talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends.
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52):
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn’t borrow money too often
4. Doesn’t nod off to sleep when I’m venting
5. Doesn’t re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers my name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends.
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62):
1. Doesn’t scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn’t require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he’s laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it’s the weekend.
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72):
1. Breathing
2. Doesn’t miss the toilet
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover.
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32):
1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week.
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42):
1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Doesn’t drive off until I’m in the car
3. Works steady — splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I’m talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends.
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52):
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn’t borrow money too often
4. Doesn’t nod off to sleep when I’m venting
5. Doesn’t re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers my name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends.
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62):
1. Doesn’t scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn’t require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he’s laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it’s the weekend.
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72):
1. Breathing
2. Doesn’t miss the toilet
Etcetera
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Got poop? Let me know! I’m
going to try to get this out every Wednesday so if you get it to me by Tuesday
I’ll try to include it. Your input is
appreciated.
·
Be sure to visit our website @ www.ravensroost44.com or our blog @ http://ravensroost44.blogspot.com/
for the latest news, notes and nuggets.
·
Life is short. Focus on the good.
·
Happy summer! Today is the longest day (and
the shortest night) of the year!
Frank
Baltimore Ravens, let’s go
And put that ball across the line
So fly with talons spread wide
Go in and strike with Ravens pride
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Ravens dark wings take flight
Dive in and show them your might
For Baltimore and Maryland
You will fly on to victory
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